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Sometimes I am black, other times I am Indian or Latina, or I may be French, or just a white girl who tans a bit too much.
Sometimes I am intimidating or a race-baiting Angry Black Woman, but I can just as easily morph into innocent and approachable.
Over time I’ve found that the easiest way to change my ethnicity – change the way people treat me – is to change my company.
And the company that most defines us is, in fact, our choice in a mate.
When I choose to date a black man, I inevitably send a message to society about who I am and what I represent.
When I choose to date a black man, I choose to be ignored at bars, barred from clubs, humiliated by groups of drunken white men, or passed over by taxis.
In fact, at a recent fellowship dinner at Columbia Law School, a wealthy, white businessman told me that the biggest business problem occurring in America is the inability of black women to find [black] husbands.He declared that this travesty is rooted in the black man’s inability to commit, not just to a woman, but also to a job.