Communication skills dating
Good and close relationships require letting go of some of that turf, compromising, and accepting that the other person’s needs and feelings are as valid as our own.
Simply living in the same space with another person provides plenty of fodder for arguments.
All problems in relationships boil down to one thing: lack of communication. We are turf-oriented creatures, even with our most intimate relationships.
Whether our concerns relate to money, sex, kids, affection, career or any of the various reasons we fight or get angry, when we don’t communicate our needs and discuss our differences, things will inevitably break down. We want to protect what’s ours — emotionally, psychologically, and physically — often at the expense of those we love most. How can we both get our needs met when we want different things on a particular day? What happens if one of us needs more space that the other?
When you are first in love, the boxers left on the floor are just adorable. But eventually, familiarity breeds, if not contempt, plenty of irritation.
Add to that the stresses of children, finances, and career — along with the real differences in the way men and women perceive the world, and it’s a wonder any of us make it through the first few years of a relationship.
We have to talk about what’s bugging us, what we want from the other, our dreams and disappointments. And we have to listen, really listen to what the other is saying. As stilted as it may seem, meeting with your spouse or partner on a regular basis to ask questions and learn about each other will protect your relationship from altercations and even better, it will create a new level of intimacy between you.1. What should I never say to you, even in anger or frustration? How much time and space do we need apart from each other? What activities and interests can we develop that will bring us closer?
You must exercise some self-control, even when strong feelings make you want to say unspeakable things.
The most successful, intimate relationships involve proactive communication before a fight ever breaks out. What happens if we can’t agree on something important that involves both of us? What kind of physical touch best says “I love you” to you? What could I do that would cause you to pull away from me?