Dating good idea
THE FACTORS THAT SHOULD BE IN PLAY BEFORE YOU START DATING YOUR BEST FRIEND1) A mutual (and intense) desire--ON BOTH SIDES--to give it a whirl.2) The LACK of some major precipitating event.
I also wondered if my hesitation had to do with a (lingering? Yet, the lack of sexual heat was an indisputable fact.
) case of commitment-phobia on my part, rather than any real doubts about the situation at hand; maybe the supposed chemistry conundrum was just a cover for my fear of getting closer to him. (Trust me on that: About six months after we broke up, Jake said, "The sex really wasn't very good, was it?
(We had always been in tentative e-mail, even after the split.) I texted Jake, told him I was nearby, that I'd get out of the salon around 630--and did he want to grab a drink at that point? and luckily, after that, our friendship fell back into place fairly quickly.
And thank Buddha for that, because, have I mentioned I this person?
But he told me he'd been mulling it over for a while, and he was serious about wanting to give things a go. And not having Jake in my life seemed unimaginably painful. Maybe incompatible phermones are to blame--who knows?
At the same time, after considering it for a minute or two, I realized that if I give it a try, my reluctance could create a weird dynamic which could very well do serious damage to the friendship--maybe as much as a failed romance would. --because there doesn't seem to be much else to explain it.
(Dear me, I'm even tearing up a little as I write this.)Anyway, the experience has me convinced that BOTH friends need to feel pretty strong chemistry before they move from being platonic pals to romantic partners.
Otherwise, I think the chance of it working out are slim.