Dating in islamic view


30-Aug-2016 08:20

(The one with many lovers or the one with just one lover) are both the same.

For this reason Imaam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allaah have mercy on him) said that it is not right to marry a promiscuous woman unless she has repented, or to arrange a marriage of such a woman to a chaste man, so long as she is still conducting herself in this manner.

I feel that because we have been in this relationship which is abhorred by Allah, he will never marry me because he has lost respect for me. Allaah has also forbidden this, meaning marrying her so long as she is in that situation…’” Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Made lawful to you this day are al-tayyibaat [all kinds of halaal (lawful) foods…].

The food of the People of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them.

Similarly, he (Ahmad) says that it is not right for a promiscuous man to marry a chaste woman unless he repents and gives up his immoral conduct, because of this aayah…

We will discuss this matter in further detail after quoting the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3] Among the stories that show that it is forbidden to have girlfriends or to marry them is the story of Marthad ibn Abi Marthad, who used to smuggle Muslim prisoners-of-war from Makkah to Madeenah.

I am deeply in love with a Muslim man and want to marry him. Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisaa’ ] In his commentary on this aayah, Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Muhsanaat [translated as “chaste”] means that they should be pure, not indulging in zinaa (unlawful sexual conduct), hence they are described as not being musaafihaat, which means promiscuous women who do not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them.

I know that Allah forbids girlfriend-boyfriend relationships, and feel very sorry in my heart for our relationship. Regarding the phrase wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan (‘nor taking boyfriends’), Ibn ‘Abbaas said: ‘al-musaafihaat means those who are known to commit zinaa, meaning those who will not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them.’ Ibn ‘Abbaas also said: ‘muttakhidhaati akhdaan means lovers.’ A similar interpretation was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, Mujaahid, al-Sha’bi, al-Dahhaak, ‘Ataa’ al-Khurasaani, Yahyaa ibn Abi Katheer, Muqaatil ibn Hayyaan and al-Saddi. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: ‘It means a (male) friend.’ Al-Dahhaak also said: ‘wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan also means a woman who has just one boyfriend or lover with whom she is happy.

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(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due mahr (bridal money given by the husband to the wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends.And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith, the fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.” [al-Maa’idah 5:5] Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Muhsineen ghayr musaafiheen wa laa muttakhidhi akhdaan (‘desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends’).



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