Dating rejection anger
On Monday, Buzzfeed writer Grace Spelman publicized Harry Potter fanboy and (more disconcertingly) Feminspire co-founder Benjamin Schoan's online flirtation-turned-aggression toward her.In response to a series of tweet and a flirtatious Facebook message Schoan sent her way, Spelman told him she had a boyfriend and wished him well.The go-to "I have a boyfriend," can also elicit disbelief and outrage, as exemplified by Schoan's tirade.She writes: "The whole exchange is pretty emblematic of the inherent difficulties of rejecting men, both online and off.Women are frequently made to toe a line between being polite enough to not set off the suitor, but not so polite that their manners are interpreted as flirting." Indeed, empirical evidence supports these anecdotal "inherent difficulties" Roy describes.Whereas the romantic hopefuls experienced a mix of pain and wistfulness at what might've been, rejecters were awash in guilt, feelings of intrusion and annoyance.
But as many other women online and IRL have experienced firsthand, all was not well.* This prompted Jessica Roy at The Cut to wonder whether a best way to turn down a guy even exists.
Regardless of the communication tactic, ultimately saying "no" can lead to a backlash of breakup proportions despite a relationship that never even existed.