Dating tips arranged marriage
Your request for a cute face wasn’t high on their list of priorities.A few years ago, actor Ravi Patel tried to splitmethod of arranging marriages.He enlisted his parents — who’d had an arranged marriage — to help him find the love of his life.He went to India, brushed up his resume, narrowed his pool to women of his own cultural community and went at it. The resulting documentary, “Meet the Patels,” had its popular, but limited, theatrical run last fall.They asserted their wants and needs, and in lieu of having your portrait taken for an exorbitant price, they paraded you around social functions, hoping someone would take you off their hands.But so we’re clear: They’d decide exactly which someone.
Late last year, I met up with Patel in Washington because I was on my own search: I was writing a story about whether our Indian parents, not to mention generations of matchmakers in other cultures, know something we don’t: If you decide to set aside instant attraction and instead choose a partner based on cultural similarity, financial stability and whether they make your parents happy, could love blossom?
You carefully type up a profile, taking care to sound fun, awesome but also so busy enjoying yourself that you can barely find time to date.
You list your wants and needs, post a flattering photo or five (one Your parents penned your biography, taking care to make you sound highly fertile.
“Our generation is simultaneously conditioned to go after after everything else. Nevertheless, our 20-minute chat stretched to an hour, and we ended up talking about spark, and why Internet dating may have everything in common with arranged marriage.
We’re the achievement culture; we’re killing it in school and career.” Enter his parents, who inducted Patel into the equally goal-oriented culture of Indian matchmaking. The interview has been edited for clarity and length.
Why do we cling to this model that we should look at someone, feel a spark and date them for two years?