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What do you do if your partner is a little too close with his/her family? Often, I’m concerned that she will never break out from under them.

Dear John, I’m dating “Edie,” who is a wonderful woman, but very much under her parents’ control.

Edie feels the same way, but feels guilty leaving them alone. Since you have your heart set on a relationship, you would be wise to have Edie agree to some ground rules before you ever get to the point of saying, “I do.” First off, you need an agreement as to how often in the month you will socially engage her parents.

Once a week or five times a week can make a big difference in allowing a relationship to have the needed space to grow on its own.

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We have both spoken to her mother on different occasions and she says, “I just want to invite you to all of these things but I understand if you can’t come.” Her mom will start calling her on Monday about events for the coming weekend and not stop calling until Edie has agreed to whatever plans she has made.My bottom line is that I want us to spend less time with her folks. Dear Paul, From what you write, it does not seem that the normal separation that develops between parent and adult child has occurred here.