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18-Jul-2015 04:32

As you could probably guess, you need to get enough Beautifuls, or at least Hmmm OKs, to outweigh any negative votes. I remembered one of my online dating-savvy friends extolling the importance of varied photos a few months ago: "You want some of your face, you want some of your body, you want some being goofy, you want some smiling normally, you want at least three different hairstyles," she said, ticking off her fingers.I've heard my friends strategize and occasionally agonize about picking the right photos for their dating profiles. At the time, I think I was like, "Friend, that is some serious Barbie overkill," but, you know. If you can't already tell, my self-esteem requires constant coddling.You see, back then, there were these Live Journal communities with names like xx Gorgeousx or x___e Li Te__Xx or whatever; it was all very Gossip Girl.You would apply to them by submitting a photo or two of yourself and filling out a questionnaire, and members would proceed to vote you in or out.One guy did say my username is a tongue twister, which, okay, it's my just my super-common first plus my super-common middle name, so, dumb. I did partake in a little for-funsies voting this evening...although, the only person I've thumbsed-down so far posted a photo of his sports car and not himself, because, come on.Its homepage offers the following tantalizing promises: Well, if there are two things I hate, it's riff raff and FAKE beautiful people, so why the hell not?It should be mentioned that I've never really dabbled in online dating, not even Tinder. To join Beautiful People, you fill out a brief application, which looks like this: And yeah, you do have to fill in every section, including your weight.

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Vain 13-year-old me ate stuff like this up (as if middle school itself didn't afford enough opportunities to have my looks/menial details about my personhood judged harshly in a public forum).

Well, a few weeks ago, my lovely editor shot me an email asking me to try out a dating site that, for all intents and purposes, sounded like 2014's answer to the douchey Live Journal groups of the mid-aughts. ), and it recently made waves when applicants reportedly underwent drastic makeovers in order to gain admission.

I mean, I haven't been single since my freshman year of college, and back then I met all my dudes at frat parties and favored a busted-up Black Berry Curve. I threw my scale out over a year ago, so it's entirely possible that I gave more of a goal weight.

Oh, and also, I listed myself as being in a relationship, but open to party invites. Anyway, then you upload a photo, and so begins your 48 hours of judgment, during which the website's opposite sex members (I don't remember being offered a non-hetero option, although it's possible I missed it) proceed to vote you in or out by hitting one of the following buttons: They correspond, from left to right, to the following charming categories: Absolutely Not, No, Hmmm OK, and Beautiful.

Ever find yourself lazing about on your laptop on a Saturday afternoon, thinking, "Gee, I really wish someone were judging my looks in real time online right now"?Yeah, me neither — at least, not since my middle school Live Journaling days.