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09-May-2015 17:25

Yet, even in the most beautiful city in the world, during the most beautiful time of year, romance does not always come easily. And why in God’s name would the waiter be telling us this? We threw our gelato away, too cold to eat on this Eskimo-style date.

While an accent is a pretty superficial reason to go on a date, at the time it seemed as legitimate of a reason as any.I was young, and, accent aside, it was exciting to be going on my first date in Paris. When the waiter brought my fish, he informed us that it had been boiled alive. What was I doing making dinner reservations at a restaurant that cooks its fish alive? As we left the restaurant and made our way along the Seine, the icy air whipped us mercilessly.Often though, it’s the other way around, where I’m the one who thinks the evening went well when my date probably wished to never to see me again.Take, for instance, the time I went to Frenchie Bar à Vins with a girl from Paris.

But just as I was finishing my internal pep talk, she asked, “Would you like to come to the theater with me tomorrow? I have an extra seat, and I would love to see you again.”Excuse me? This gorgeous girl from Brittany who was taken to a terrible restaurant that gave her food poisoning then had to walk through the cold making dull conversation wants to see me — the idiot who orchestrated it all — again?

“Ummm…I’ll text you.”“Okay,” she smiled, before driving away. It would’ve been too cruelly awkward, but these kinds of surprises, in which I find myself on entirely different wavelengths with French women, aren’t actually that unusual.