Extrovert woman dating introverted men
This was the number one complaint I heard from the dozens of introvert-extrovert couples I interviewed for my book.It seems like an intractable problem, but it’s often possible to find a middle ground.One idea is for the extrovert to grant the introvert an hour of private time at the end of the day.Are you an introvert dating or married to an extrovert? One extrovert I interviewed for my book, “QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” described her introverted husband as “the anchor of her world.” Extroverts report that introverts give them permission to explore their serious, introspective sides. Many successful couples are introvert-extrovert pairs. The two types are often drawn to each other out of a sense of mutual delight.Negotiate in advance the amount of socializing you’ll do as a couple on any given weekend, month, or year. That way, you don’t have to argue about it night after night.In my book, I tell the story of a husband who wanted to host a dinner party every Friday night, and a wife who hated giving parties.
Introverts, on the other hand, often feel grateful that their extroverted partners make the atmosphere light-hearted and casual – and that they do so much of the talking.But these mixed-type couples can run into a predictable set of misunderstandings. How much to socialize: What do you do when one person wants to go out and the other to stay home?This enabled the wife to have more one-on-one conversations, instead of feeling compelled to “perform” in front of a larger group. How much to talk after a long day of work: At the end of the day, extroverts often come home longing for conversation, while introverts need to recharge alone.These differences can leave extroverts feeling abandoned, and introverts feeling pressured.
A first step toward achieving compromise is for each partner to grant that the other’s needs are legitimate—to recognize that this is not a case of stubbornness but rather of genuinely different temperaments.
Then the challenge is to accommodate each other’s needs.