Im messsage dating site
It’s not even necessarily that they’re shady, but what you learn about them is that instead of being authentic, that it’s very important to them to convince others of who they are.
They don’t believe in themselves enough to feel that you’ll ‘get them’ without giving you regular intermissions to push their ‘wares’.
” You’re supposed to be a decent human being – the least you can do is show up with the bare basics of some integrity and be a respectful, trustworthy and caring person.
People who are genuinely nice don’t keep telling you that they’re nice, they just act nice.
I’m sure many are generous and giving but they’re often overgivers who have hidden expectations and need to get something back.
An old colleague of mine would tell stories about exes and each one was written off as a ‘psycho’ – he was protesting too much!
What he was advertising was that he was deluded about the reasons why he broke up and disrespectful.
The more you have to go to the trouble of saying something about yourself or another person, the less real it sounds. Probably the most popular examples of Those Who Doth Protest Too Much are people who keep telling you that they’re ‘honest’, ‘nice’, or even that all of their exes are ‘psychos’.In fact, the more you emphasise a characteristic or quality, the more it begins to sound like convincing and justification. I’m going to tell you straight – I’ve never come across someone who goes on about how honest they are that is actually trustworthy.The more they say it, the less likely I am to put my handbag down around them or trust them with anything of importance.I’ve had dates tell me they’re “really honest” several times and all I thought was “I wasn’t thinking you weren’t until you felt the need to advertise it!
Over the years I’ve had the privilege of having many people tell me about the person they’re in a relationship with and I’ve noticed, that when things aren’t that great, or aren’t actually as great as they’re making out, they go to great lengths to emphasise certain characteristics and qualities.
One acquaintance said at least thirty times in a recent 45 minute conversation that her guy was “great”, “nice” and “really not that bad once you get to know him.” While I’m sure a part of her was hoping to create a positive perception of him, my spidey senses and too much experience of this told me it’s Those Who Doth Protest Too Much.