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09-Jul-2016 08:54

Anne and Mary’s ambitious father offered his wife to the King, but Henry declined, with the immortal words, “Never with the mother,” according to the writer Nigel Cawthorne’s masterful and encyclopedic book on the subject, “Sex Lives of the Kings and Queens of England,” shortly to be reissued on Kindle.One of the principle reasons why Prince Charles’s detractors say he should not be King is because he indulged in an extra-marital affair with his now-wife, Camilla Parker-Bowles, when he was married to Princess Diana.But the outrage that greeted the revelation that the Prince of Wales was having an affair, especially when compared to the well-known licentiousness of the monarchs of the past, shows just how puritanical we have become in the 21st century, demanding that our rulers - even ceremonial ones - lead lives free from the blemish of sexual infidelity.Henry was like a male Elizabeth Taylor - the only difference being that when he grew tired of his spouses, they had a one-in-three chance of being beheaded, usually on trumped-up charges of incest and/or – the gall of it – infidelity.Henry came to the throne an 18-year-old virgin, and was first married to the widow of his brother, Catherine of Aragon, and did not embark on his first affair until 1514, when Catherine was pregnant (it was believed that having sex with a woman while pregnant could cause miscarriage).He swiftly made up for lost time thereafter, having affairs with several noblewomen at court, including Lady Anne Hastings, and Jane Poppincourt of Flanders, who was at the time also the mistress of the Duc de Longueville, who was being held hostage, in great comfort, within the Royal household.Henry had several illegitimate children, including one with Mary Boleyn, the sister of his second wife, Anne Boleyn (see Philippa Gregory’s book, ‘The Other Boleyn Girl’).He kept one mistress, Henrietta Dowd, for twenty years, and when he finally dropped her, his wife begged him to reconsider, for fear he would go on the tear with a string of feisty new lovers, which he duly did, hanging a portrait of one of them at the base of his bed.

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We common folk can hardly be blamed for our sometimes prurient interest in the sex lives of the Kings and Queens of England.Given the hereditary principle, who’s doing what to whom when has not just been a subject for terrific gossip for the upper classes and peasantry alike through the ages, it’s a matter of vital national interest. Indeed, the sex life of Prince Charles has been the subject of constitutional importance ever since a 1989 conversation with Camilla, recorded by an amateur radio enthusiast, was published in which Charles expressed a desire to be reincarnated as his lover’s tampon (in fact, when you read the tape in full and hear the tampon quote in context, it’s less creepy and more dumb than it sounds).