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The reality is this: groupies don’t care about you when you’re on the come up, because you’re likely broke and struggling.Again and again I’d fall for the sensitive guitar player who wears eyeliner … But maybe you will be bothered by him missing your birthday because he has a gig in New Jersey, or inclined to paranoia that he’s got “a girl in every port.” Also, if you have pets or kids together, you should expect to do more of the care when he’s on tour. Again, these people aren’t worth getting jealous or insecure about. I might possibly be bitter because I got a song for Valentine’s Day one year which appeared to have been written that same day. If you’re someone who works a 9-to-5 job and requires a full night’s sleep like I do, this is not a match. This is just a fact about all creative folks — writers like myself, actors, musicians, whatever.
I have nothing but the nicest things to say about most of them . It’s normal to feel a little jealous, but there’s no point in getting too insecure because this will happen after show. If I’m in a relationship with someone, I of course want to support their career, but going to a bunch of gigs, especially ones that are late at night, can be a pretty hearty time commitment. Speaking as one of those people, it takes awhile to develop thick skin. This is another fact: unless he and his bandmates are explicitly sober, they’re going to be around alcohol and probably drugs, too, and oftentimes getting it for free. This is a saying from my friend, our former “Mind Of Man” columnist John De Vore. Don’t take my swearing-off musicians as a warning, per se. They have intense relationships with their band mates that will be more important to them than the relationship they have with you. It’s a wonder anyone in a band has time for a romantic relationship given how much time they spend bickering with each other over big egos, women, money, and God knows what else. So handle with care: the sweet, sensitive guy who writes you love songs is also going to be sensitive about that nasty Pitchfork commenter. Your musician boo may not write songs about you, exactly, but about your relationship or love in general.