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Instead defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.
The problem is you can’t get a piece of what you need from one person and another piece from someone else and expect to have a stable and satisfying love-life. What you get instead is fragmentation, conflict, and limited intimacy.
I know the story books tell us that it’s better to stay together.
But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.
A lot of misery is avoided with a respectful ending and opportunity to start again with someone else after a period of sincere efforts to fix a love relationship.
The point is, a triangle happens when two married (or simply committed people) don’t fix their marriage.