Aspects of each of you resonate with the other and it creates what feels like a strong tie between you both – a connection.
It’s a bit of a frisson between you both, a shared vibe, an air between you that feels like it generates something positive (even if overall it doesn’t), the way you ‘work’ together, the ‘tension’ that exists between you both.
Chemistry is one of those difficult to pinpoint, tricky to define linchpins of a relationship. ‘We have such a strong chemistry’ is one of the most common things that gets said to me as does ‘I couldn’t be with someone who I didn’t have any chemistry with’.
As it’s so hard to put our fingers on, it’s actually the blanket explanation for why we stick with someone even when all signs around us point to ‘Danger! I think of chemistry as the result of how you both ‘vibrate’ together.
Obviously if we got involved with someone who challenged those beliefs, we’d have to adjust our thinking and our behaviours.
Many of us are damn scared of challenging our beliefs plus we are also and often entirely unaware of the impact of quiet, hidden beliefs.
That doesn’t make you responsible for their behaviour but it does put the power in your hands to change your part.
Many times over the course of writing this blog and my ebooks, I’ve emphasised that we ‘choose’ or gravitate to people that reflect the things we believe about relationships, love, and ourselves.
If we have negative beliefs, we inadvertently create a self-fulfilling prophecy that enables us to continue holding on to that belief.
I’ve also learned through experience that we are the only common denominator to the soap opera that is our relationships and that life continues throwing us up the same lessons through our relationships until we heed the warnings.
Every experience you’ve had, you’re in it and if the same experience comes up with various different people, you have to look at lot closer to home at your own actions.
It’s also safe to say that often when you feel that you’re compatible, you may actually be compatible for the .
This is why it feels ‘right’ even when it seems so ‘wrong’ and why you’re still banking on that emotionally unavailable or assclown ‘somebody’ who you had so much ‘chemistry’ with…you just couldn’t string a relationship together.