True dating match


07-Jan-2015 11:52

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MC: How can we know if there's chemistry before we have sex? Our studies showed that the odds of meeting someone online and dating him more than a month are roughly one in 10.So it's great that all those people on the TV commercials met their spouses, but they are the exceptions, not the rule. MT: I'm more of an introvert, and I haven't found the Internet very effective.In my studies, I've found that about half of daters say they're looking for "sexually passionate romance" and want to have a "great" sex life. Those who don't are usually worried about winding up with a partner who wants more or kinkier sex than they do. MC: But doesn't happiness have more to do with emotional compatibility? MT: Sexual compatibility is a keystone to a relationship's long-term success, and it requires three things: a similar emotional approach (positive, friendly, and fun, or dark and mysterious); a similar activity level (fast and active, or slow and mellow); and a complementary power dynamic (strong, confident, and powerful, or gentle and submissive). These qualities often line up with what you want interpersonally, too. And you don't go in believing that science is behind the match. When diet companies show someone who lost a bunch of weight in six weeks, they have to say, "Results not typical." I think e Harmony and other sites should do the same. MT: It really depends on people's willingness to come back and tell us why each date didn't work out so the system could get smarter. MT: Because sex is a huge part of a relationship that people don't always focus on.

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After spending a decade at and Yahoo Personals writing compatibility formulas, psychologist Mark Thompson had fallen out of love with his work."Early on, there was real enthusiasm that we were going to figure out how to bring people together," he says.No computer can accurately predict whom you should be with. People who are outgoing tend to do better with Internet dating.The function of the math will make vastly more false predictions than accurate ones. MT: Yes, but you don't have to pay a month to be set up by your friend. I'm more likely to meet someone through a hiking group.

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"But now the industry is so competitive that it's more about what sites claim they can do than what us eggheads could actually do for people." So Thompson quit and used what he'd learned to write an analog guide to finding your libidinous match, MC: What made you leave e-dating?

MT: I hated the way we overpromised and underdelivered.