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10-Oct-2015 15:42

The truth is, we find refuge from vulnerability in casual, undefined relationships that boast no expectations, yet in our deeper desire to know and be known by another, we unfairly apply rules of commitment to casual romances. Having a clear understanding of what you’re looking for in a partner is a good foundation for building a relationship, but assessing important characteristics of a person while casually dating is almost impossible.Even Chris Brown is struggling to make sense of it.Loyalty implies that some commitment to being faithful or devoted has been established.Loyalty has different implications in our new urban context. Anyone here seen a Chiropractor before or currently go to one regularly? As a single woman in her thirties, the dynamics of dating in the new urban scene are confusing.I throw my back out last week lifting a heavy book box. My friend recommend that I need to go see a Chiropractor.

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He wants loyalty in a woman, but is disappointed to find “these hoes ain’t loyal.” His frustration sets the stage for a much deeper conversation about when there’s no commitment?By definition, loyalty is “to be faithful or devoted to someone or something.” Casual dating, then, can’t possibly provide a healthy framework for a woman to be loyal to a man, or vice versa.By mid to late thirties, most of us who date and live in diverse urban cities are pretty self-aware and financially independent.Yet we continue to date casually, while insisting we are genuinely looking for a partner who is marriage material.

It has become synonymous with “having somebody’s back.” In the early 2000’s when Beyoncé dropped her first solo single, Crazy in Love featuring her now husband, Jay-Z, they became the proto-type for the new urban love story and her album aptly entitled “Dangerously in Love” redefined our ideas about what it means for a woman to have a man’s back in urban culture.

Beyoncé was America’s pop sweetheart who fell for the king of the streets, and became the ultimate “Ride or Die chick.” She was strong, independent, and proved that now even good suburban-bred girls could or be loyal to the game.



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