Zen of dating online dating tips and tricks


15-Jan-2016 11:50

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To put it bluntly, once a couple of key critieria were screened for, it turned out that OKC was pretty dry. Anyway, Lindsay called me out of the blue while I was at work–we haven’t talked on the phone since the night we got drinks a year and a half ago–and she very casually invited me out to dinner. I had already told her about my blog last week, but I felt so much more vulnerable this evening than I did last week. I’m actually glad she didn’t because that would have been awkward as hell.

It’s Friday night, quickly approaching Saturday morning, and while the wheels on my car are stationary because I can’t afford to date tonight, the wheels in my head are definitely turning. Unfortunately, I was really struggling to find quality girls to date. I was meeting girls at places like The Ranch and Roial. In my mind, dating doesn’t get much more efficient than knowing what a girl looks like, her hobbies, her education, and other information about her background than being able to know it all in the press of a keystroke.

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More than anything else they pay for the questions I ask and the time I invest in listening carefully to their answers. This book offers a wealth of solid guidance on how to listen to understand rather than just hearing the words. We South Africans listen just to offer perspective, advice, and insight.

By then the Kindle app had arrived and I transferred the important books to my i Pad.

One of my favourite books is “The Zen of Listening”. Until Mrs Carruthers suggested that her 12 suitcases of clothes, dating back to her 12th birthday, needed priority.

I bought it in 2000, and it’s one of the few physical books I have left from the 40 boxes of books I travelled with for a few years.

When they respond it’s almost never with their own story. And then they sit next to you in companionable silence. When you’re on stage people are paying to listen to you. That makes it difficult when talking to somebody on the phone, for instance, because they too pay me for my time. With our parents it may just be revenge for them never listening to us. Or at least, offer a superb facsimile of listening. Not because we want to hear our children, or our friends, or even our parents.



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